Transition - Process of change: a process or period in which something undergoes a change and passes from one state, stage, form, or activity to another.

"Even though this world may be cruel, beauty still exists." - Ville Valo

I can distinctly recall the moments of counting down the seconds to the new year, the second hand of the clock ticking, echoing louder and louder as it reached it's mark. In my mind I thought that 2008 was just going to be ordinary like every other year, but in my heart I knew that change was ahead. This was the year that little Manda (as unwilling as she was) was going to grow up.

Time reveals all. "Tick, Tock."

Even though it's barely a quarter into 2008 I guess I'm right in saying that this year, (even though how short it has been) has officially been the most drastic transitional period within my life. I've experienced it all, from mind blowing moments of bliss filled happiness (where I truly felt alive for the first time in my life) swiftly morphing into the utmost darkest and cruellest days of my life, where I honestly thought I would never see the light again. From moving out of the house I have lived my entire life in, to entering different education, to my first plane trip, to learning the illuminating truths of cruel family secrets, to living through yet another dark hour, to being on top of life with the beautiful distractions of the most amazingly breathtaking concerts…I've done it all in these past few months.

So of course in the beautiful month of February, I lived one of my many dreams of seeing Iron Maiden. Also in this beautiful month I took a big step and entered into tertiary education, which (as challenging it may be) is one of the best things that I've ever done, and although it wasn't everything I dreamed it was going to be, I love it! I am well and truly upon the long and hard road of becoming a Journalist. In the month of March I seen yet another of my favourite bands, the almighty H.I.M! I haven't had the chance to recap this milestone so you will all be pleased to know that for this section of this rather "epic" blog will be dedicated to my exeperience seeing H.I.M!

Alas, this time we (as in me and my sister Rach) decided to go to Sydney for a change rather than to good old Melbourne. Sydney was great! Although it was a bit of a hurdle getting there! Rather than enduring a 7 and a half hour train ride, we decided to use our trusty thinking caps and fly there in 40 minutes. This henceforth, was our first plane trip. We flew with Virgin Blue *thumbs up* really good service and the seats were so comfy, they also had some AWESOME chicken Caesar wraps. We also got the chance to have a little giggle at the "Safety Demonstration" I always feel for that poor stewardess/steward (Not being sexist here) when he/she has to get up in front of a plane full of passangers and make a fool out of themselves, but I guess its all in the name of safety!

Rach and I were more paranoid going through security, rather than the flight itself. Going through metal detectors and getting swabbed for explosive devices was a bit eye opening to what's happening in our country and the world at this moment, with the big "T" word. We had to suppress ourselves from joking about terrorism, let alone even talk about it. But you will all be pleased to know that we got through security just fine. When we got on the plane we were a bit nervous and I guess visualizing the plane crashing into the ocean didn't help all that much…but then my visualization morphed into crashing onto a 'mysterious island' with secret hatches, and invisible monsters and a homicidal group of people called "The Others" with Dr. Jack Sheppard coming to our rescue, so I thought that it wouldn't be that bad to crash lol.

Anyways, getting back on topic! It was a teeny weenie bit scary taking off and we got a little deathly white when the turbulence hit, but fuelled by the pure excitement that we were seeing H.I.M later that day kept us fearless. We had an absolute blast on the plane. It was so amazing flying through the whispy white clouds and the crystal blue sky, over the green country side and the vast emerald ocean it was great finally getting the chance to see what it was like up there in the sky. People say I always have my 'head in the clouds' so it was great literally experiencing that.

So we got into Sydney Airport looked around a bit, (mainly looking for TV cameras as we wanted to get on "Border Security" lol) and then we waited in a ridiculous long (yet efficient) line for a taxi. We headed to the motel which was the "Holiday Inn on Darling Harbour" It was officially the nicest motel I have ever stayed at! The bathroom amenities were so cute! We got a beautiful view, two of the comfiest beds on the planet! (every time you just even sat on it, it would cast a spell on you and you would immediately drift off to dreamland…evil comfy beds!) We also got a plasma and spiffy bathrobes!

Sydney in comparison to Melbourne is fucking GIGANTIC! I couldn't get over how big everything was, we took taxi's everywhere because there was no way in hell we were using public transport like we usually do in Melbs, we would have most definetely gotten lost! We stayed in the motel for most of the day conserving all our energy for the concert and continuously talking about how awesome H.I.M was going to be. We went over to McDonalds to get some dinner and got attacked by evil pigeons, I tells ya Alfred Hitchcock was on the money with "The Birds" those evil winged creatures will take over the world one day! *raises fists*

So 6 o'clock finally came around, and we headed across the Sydney Harbour Bridge to Luna Park, Big Top! The venue is in one word...Beautiful. It's straight across from the Sydney Harbour Bridge so there is a magnificent harbour view...Luna Park in itself is old style carnivale, so there were cut outs of castles, a huge ferris wheel and fairy lights pretty much everywhere. This really suited the atmosphere for a H.I.M concert.

We were so excited we were literally jumping up and down whilst we waited in line (To my delight I found out that my combat boots, although deadly were bouncy!). I guess we should have arrived a little bit earlier because the line was MASSIVE! It was a long wait and we were all getting impatient, I can tell you now even though Sydney does have a notebly much nicer facility...nothing compares to the comraderie of the metal heads in Melbourne! Whether it be Festival Hall, Rod Laver or Vodafone Arena, Melbourne Metalheads always make the time go so much faster because its so much FUN waiting in those lines. You always seem to meet so many awesome people and there are always evil group plotting sessions going on....mainly on how to break down the barrier and make a fool of ourselves on stage, professing our love before the band in question before getting pulled away by security like a bunch of raving lunatics

The people in Sydney were nice...but once again not anywhere near as awesome as the Melbourne Metalheads! So we waited in line for what seemed like HOURS and got a few laughs from the stupid girl ahead of us, who didn't even know who Ville Valo was before we finally went in! Me and Rach just completely ran for it and somehow (Still eludes me how we did it) managed to get up the front, even though we were legions behind. Most people went up to the balcony, which I thought was so fucking stupid, front row in a mosh? Or 50 meters away on a balcony? The stage at Big Top is relatively high in comparison to other venue's and this is great visually speaking! I smuggled in the camera for Rach, and we got some amazing pictures and recordings!

So the supporting act originally was going to be Paradise Lost, I was so pumped! Then my hopes were shattered when I found out that instead it was going to be an all girl british band called McQueen. They were so bad, that I think I would have rathered endured seeing Bring Me The Horizon again! The mosh remained solitary and I was so bored that I almost fell asleep on the barrier. The lead singer was apparently "off her face on Jack" but she was sober as anything, it was just a complete facade for their image, sex, booze and punk rock. They were posers and are to date the worst band i've ever seen. They aren't even worth this fucking paragraph.

So McSHIT were over and done with and we were all eagerly awaiting H.I.M!

My heart was beating so fast in anticipation, this was the band that managed to light up my darkest hour, and I was going to see them live in the flesh! Rach was speaking so fast that I could barely understand a word she was saying. It seemed like an eternity but then everything went dark, the stage was illuminated with a hazy blue and purple light, the Venus Doom back drop fell into place and *screams* there they were!

I was somewhere between dreams and reality, and to this day i'm not even sure if it really happened lol. There Ville Valo was, I was standing directly below him....the man with that haunting voice that taught me an entirely new meaning of beautiful, that showed me even though this world was cruel, beauty could still be found in the black abyss. He was so close I could reach out and touch him! I somehow managed to lose Rach as soon as they came out, she's a little pocket rocket in a mosh, we were both up the front but just a little bit apart. So they opened with an explosive performance of "Passion's Killing Floor" the mosh at this time was insane! I never expected it to be that...well...brutal! There were circle pits and stupid fucking emo slam dancers (they should all be shot, do they realize how ridiculous they look?) I also couldn't believe how young the kids were in that brutal moshpit, there were 12 year olds getting crushed and pulled out by security guards. I think there should be a 16+ age limit at big top, I'm 19 and even though I'm short and rather small for my age at least I can hold my own...but these kids are just helpless, it was scary having to watch. I was holding onto that barrier for dear life, there was no way I was going to give up this position in the first song! I was glad I wore my combat boots, because they saved my life, my feet were getting trod on, but I couldn't feel anything. They kept me upright and were good weapons keeping the emo dancers at bay.

I could tell by the look on Ville's face when he shot a glance at Burton, that he was completely shocked by the brutality of the mosh. I remember at one time, he told us all to calm down and for all the girls to keep their bra's on "No matter how lovely your endowments are, your distracting me...even Mikko has taken his shirt off and so this is why I always sing with my eyes closed." lol.

They played an assortment of songs from Venus Doom, "Sleepwalking Past Hope", "Kiss of Dawn" There was a beautiful moment in the chorus of this song when I looked up at Ville and there was all this purple haze about him...I will never forget it. He looked like an immortal prince...like something from another realm entirely. There's just this enchanting thing about the man that draws you in! Ville's soul is just so beautiful and intriguing, to have ventured into the darkness and to have written such lyrics with so much depth. This was a man, who beared his soul in its entirety with every single lyric he has ever wrote. I remember him looking down at the crowd with this beautiful smile, his face alight with happiness, his eyes were sparking. I remember making eye contact with him, it was just this beautiful moment, it was as if time itself had slowed down, for me to take in every nano second of this brilliant moment. *sigh* I could write an entire novel about this moment that only lasted for a few seconds lol.

Anyways they also done "Love In Cold Blood", "Dead Lover's Lane" and "Bleed Well" (The feet started to feel numb from all that jumping up and down).

Other songs Included:
*Wicked Game
*Buried Alive By Love
*Right Here In My Arms
*Posion Girl
*Heartache Every Moment
*Join Me [In Death] ---> Lighter Moment, a thousand little lights waving in the darkness was so beautiful!*Killing Lonlieness
*Wings Of A Butterfly
*Vampire Heart [Memorable, Memorable moment! So much jumping up and down and craziness!]
*It's All Tears [So happy that they done some of their earlier stuff for all the hardcore HIM fans]
*Your Sweet 666
*Soul On Fire


The highlight for me and stand out song, was my absolute favourite. "The Funeral Of Hearts" there were tears. I bet I looked like a damned fool! I tried not to be one of those stupid fan girls who the camera zooms up on when there crying but alas, I couldn't help it. It was immensly overwhelming, memories sharp as daggers cut through me. The fact that I listened to this song in one of my darkest hours and I felt all the pain, I felt that day...yet here I was hearing it live in the flesh in one of the brightest hours of my life! It was as if that dark hour didn't matter, it was henceforth erased from my system and in its place was this beautiful memory. I will never forget hearing the song played live, you know you love a band when you see them live and they sound a million times better then being recorded. Seeing them live, brings back the magic! Ville done this beautiful vocal variation at the end that I have never heard him do before...it was in one word...alluring. I will never forget it. Luckily Rach got it in a sound recording, if your a fan of H.I.M you have to hear it! Just ask me for the mp3 and it shall be yours!

After the Funeral of Hearts, they played the intro for "For You" so I knew that the unfortunate end was drawing near. They came back to do the encore, which I paid the price for, by losing my voice. "The Sacrament" [I was so relieved that they done it, because I wanted to hear it soooo fucking bad, because a few of my friends who have seen them previously said that "The Sacrament" is probably their best live song. This fact, by seeing it with my own eyes and hearing it with my own ears indeed, is proved to be true!] They also done "Razorblade Kiss" which is yet another of my favourite songs, that was really fun...although this creepy dude beside me kept singing right in my face and it was really off putting, I relied on my trusty combat boots in that moment as well...

So then unfortunately the concert was over

But even though it was over, I will always remember it and I will forever replay all those beautiful moments. I will never ever forget a single moment of March 25th 2008.

After I found Rach, we sat by Darling Harbour for a while...watching the boats with their little lights, and staring up at the Sydney Harbour Bridge alight with the headlights of little cars. We were just letting it sink in that we had just seen H.I.M. I guess it would have been a pretty funny picture, seeing these two girls, dressed in black, ranting in an indecisive language only known to us, oblivious to the pouring rain.

After we let everything set in, we attempted to hail a cab... (We have never hailed a cab before in our lives so this was a new experience, and we relied on the scenes we have seen in movies.) Luckily we got one...because we were so battered and bruised there was no way we could walk back to the hotel in the pouring rain. We had a russian taxi driver and he was looking out at all the people who had come from the concert, of course he noticed our somewhat "different" style of dress. He was asking about the concert and everything, just making usual small talk. Then he said something that was so fucking funny I almost pissed myself laughing!

Taxi Driver - "So how vas ze concert"
Rach - "It was brilliant, but it was really, really hot in there."
Taxi Driver - *looks around* So I see there were a lot of "Cool" people there.
Me and Rach - "I guess so."
Taxi Driver - "So it vas hot but zere vere a lot of "cool" people zere. I don't underztand how zat vorks."

OMFG, me and Rach were in a mood and we didn't stop laughing all the way to the hotel. The way he said it was friggin priceless! If only we had of recorded that! It was freaking gold!

So anywho we got back to the hotel, went in the lift....got really angry at the card swiper. (You get given a card for your room, and you have to use it to gain access to the floor) we stumbled back to our room, once again got angry at the other card swiper on the door. We got cleaned up, decided to try these chilli potato chips...which resulted in us running around the hotel room like mad chickens and screaming for water lol. We then watched a movie, watched the clips from H.I.M and had the best night's sleep in the world!

The next day we checked ourselves out of the hotel, had a couple of hours to spare and went shopping at the airport. I picked up Slash's Bio to read, I haven't finished it yet, but its fucking brilliant! *two thumbs up* The flight back home was really nice, there were a few more clouds to fly through, so it was really pretty. Although when we descended back into Albury, there was this massive dark cloud situated over it...and this foreboding feeling came over me. I knew immediately that something bad was going to happen. I'm not sure if the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach was resulted from the landing or whether something "dark" lay ahead.

The next day we had to move into our new place, which was so much of an effort! Our new place is brilliant and I love it! Everything is pretty much set up and i've adjusted really well. My bedroom looks rad and I am loving it here, although waiting for the new modem to get the net connected is really wearing on me...I never knew how addicted I was to the net lol. We should most definitely get it sometime next week! Hopefully its easy enough to install as the other net provider we had! I still have the net connected at my Dad's house so I just go on there whenever I get the chance to, to see how all you guys are doing! And to post this!

Other things that have been happening -

A few fights with close friends...which is really wearing on me. Disagreements about things resurfacing from the past...which I won't get into. It's just extremely hard because I recently found out a deeply shrouded family secret, something very, very bad and I can't seem to get in contact with my friends...one in particular to talk about it. So its hard.

Amazingly I have made some new friends, one in particular has been very, very beautiful to me, who listens to my eccentric rantings and makes seems to be one of the rare few who can make any sense out of it. My fellow tafe strangeling Laura

I should end this rather epic blog now. So thank y'all for reading!
I love you all!

Stay Strange and Deranged! Party On! And Be Excellent To Each Other!

Love Manda

Ps. H.I.M were incredible, but they still did not beat Iron Maiden. Like I said, I don't think there will EVER be a band that will beat them

Oh and PPS. I usually blog on myspace...so if you wanna read more of my eccentric rantings, go and have a looksies! This was a delayed post...I update very regulary on Myspace. for a new update...I had my birthday, got food poisioning was terrible! Got wonderful gifts! An awesome Labyrinth gift pack from Rach, some amazing little things from Megan, an awesome awesome potrait from Laura and heaps and heaps of money from various others...because they didnt think that I was serious about wanting a trampoline...I was and am buying one next week! Horray!